Why do Men stare at Women?
It’s quite an observable fact that men are more inclined than women to gauge beauty through a person’s outward appearance over one’s inner traits. While men’s first step in looking for a partner is too scan through a group of females and see who attracts them most, women on the other hand, are likely to ‘fall in, or grow to love someone rather that have it the ‘love at first sight, kind of way. Given that a man’s biological and psychological make up differs from most women, men falling for women at first sight is one of the most common attributes of men.
This is not to say that women don’t look at adorable and strikingly hot male species as much as males would, it is just that it is more socially accepted for women to be more refined and reserved when it comes to matters like this. While women are able to notice a guy’s appearance subtly, men often have a tendency to stare when they are attracted to a woman because society allows them to. Though it happens like second nature for men, a lot of women feel uncomfortable and often times, awkward nonetheless.
So why do men stare? This is basically instinctive behavior. If you thin it’s quite profane how guys tend to stare at you from head to foot, maybe you should take a step back and instead, just be flattered that a person of the opposite sex is attracted to you. If women tend to be more subtle, men are a little more aggressive in terms of showing their attraction to the other gender. This stems back to history when men hunt for pray and look for a possible mate making them rather visual creatures in gauging and deciding on a lot of things.
March 23, 2011 4:52 pm
I like your point about the aggressiveness needed for hunting possibly being part of the reason behind why men are more likely to stare in an obvious way than women. I wonder if men are more likely to stare in general (not just at women) because they have more testosterone and higher likelihood of being more prone to aggressiveness. Also dominance seems to be a bigger deal amongst men than women. I suspect this has something to do with why men stare sometimes: to assert their dominance.
May 15, 2012 2:44 pm
Most men have no power ..they are cowards…if they had power they would ask the person out and really go after her the way it should be– shut up.
instead they go the “accessible” route. most of the men have a ton of baggage before they are 45 years old..you need to be aware of this also and stay away from it.
thank god i have a boyfriend who wants me and has no baggage.
February 25, 2014 11:56 pm
I’m a woman and I understand that men are going to look, i’m cool with that. But staring is a bit too much. I love my boyfriend dearly and i’ve seen numerous hot guys passing by. I may look at them, but I don’t stare. It’s more than just respect for my man, I don’t like coming off desperate to the opposite sex.
August 5, 2016 1:46 pm
As a male I’ve concluded the stares are largely hormonal. Men tend to be special thinkers too, good designers of 3D objects etc. and I think this is related to the staring, to see the suitability of the woman’s structure for babies (wider hips, suitable shape). And I’ve read than women have the worst special ability when most fertile but the best during menstruation. Also I head a transgender woman to man talk about effects of male hormones on her- she said it became next to impossible to turn and stare at women’s butts! And after all this she no longer got along with her partner and they broke up. But there is also inherent beauty in women also…. and so many different flavors, this also makes it hard not to look, but no need to stare.
August 5, 2016 1:49 pm
Meant to say “spacial”, not special in my above post but it kept changing it.
July 27, 2011 5:23 am
Well, here it goes, as a guy who recently got married I have had a big problem shutting down this habit. I hate it. I have been looking at women this way for 30 years. I mean it really sucks! when you are a kid watching cartoons you see the wolf see the saloon girl and his eyes pop out and his tongue rolls out like a red carpet but when he see’s the large woman he runs straight through a wall and leaves his silhouette trying to escape. as boys growing up we are bombarded with images and the mystic of the woman’s form. this kind of brain washing sucks and is not fair because women try to emulate these sexual images so when ever you see something that resembles the image you have this incredible impulse to assess and evaluate. it’s not so much a feeling that you even want that person but just that novelty of seeing something that resembles the constant perfect images walking around in real life. women complain but then again, its hypocritical if you are in a relationship and you wear make up. are you really wearing for him? If you say yes I wear it for him, then why do you not wear it at home if you don’t plan on going out? it is just going to have an affect on other men who grew up trained to notice the tools of attraction. look I’m not defending nothing just explaining that a life time habit to be shut down automatically is unreasonable. The more you complain about it the more it becomes like forbidden fruit, like telling someone not to think of pink elephants and then it becomes hard not to think of them. I feel if a woman doesn’t want a man to look they should never go out of the house because the outside world is full of advertising women. if you saw a rare sports car driving on the street the kind you only see in magazines believe me, you will turn your head. Well imagine going outside and everywhere you look you got em driving all over the place. women should stop dressing provocatively and realize that its difficult for men to try to not look at women walking out side everywhere. Women are trying to compete in a contest of who can where the least amount of clothes and wear the biggest mask of makeup. Its annoying. Believe me I feel the most amount of peace when people wear clothes and don’t show off their bodies. I don’t go to strip clubs, they come to me. even girls who aren’t hot but naked would get attention. guys don’t walk around in underwear and super bodies so girls can’t relate and brag how they don’t look. Guys wear baggy clothes and are not used as much as women in sensual promotion in everything even hamburger commercials for crying out loud. Guys wear baggy pants and shirts and suits. even formal wear for women is provocative. can a man over come this? of course, but he will be going against his whole life time of training to look and ever growing world full of people trying to get your attention. so it will take time and effort. I love my wife and I am with her all the time. I try to not look and am trying. I would do more for her than any of your men would do for you, but its not without difficulty and she is worth every effort.
I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that can not override our programming. I just want to say that it is like playing dodge ball every day each day. That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this. I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel. Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint? If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up. Women, as just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects? You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look. So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response. To all the women out there Dress like a guy, and you will be treated like a guy. Dress like a guy and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in there natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say beautiful or pretty or what ever, but not (ATTRACT-TIVE). They will not attract attention. If you dress like your in the bed room you get what you give.
November 18, 2011 3:34 am
You should wright a book on this. the same woman who cry for equality and talk about how men dont respect them are the same woman competing to get some stares and whistles. there is alot of sexual tension in the air. not to defend woman, but the current fashions push towards revealing more and more of a womans body. during the summer time, for example, it is rather difficult to find modest clothing. walking into almost every store, you look at skirts/shorts sitting on display that you cant even picture anyone actually wearing outside.
women were more conservative in every country just 100 yrs ago. they were real, classy ladies, who were treated gentlemanly by men and respected. it was hard to imagine women/girls wearing things they wear today.
the thing women should actually be sad over is not that their husbands might look at other woman, the saddest part is that everything that is feminine has been degraded. every several years, the fashion designers come out with more revealing provacative designs, they are told by society that they should think and act like men, “feminine” characsteristics like patience are not as valued as aggressive, dominant “masculine” characsteristics.
I just hope, and I pray all woman will realize this, and in turn, do all they can to reduce the sexual energy constantly being charged and infused in the air. we are responsible for how our society is today.
I can go on and on about this subject. Making it a big priority in life to attract people sexually to you leads to an empty life. being controlled by makeup/beauty industries, the fashion industry, all teaching smart “independant” woman that they need these things and making profit out of their low self esteem.
As a woman, I like pretty things. I like fashion, and looking good, like all humans, men and woman.
however, I feel uncomfortable when womans husbands become attracted to me. One, because I am not the shallow kind of person to gain happiness when a woman becomes uncomfortable around me and angry at her husband because of me, and I dnt want to cause any embarrassment for anyone.
Two, because I want to be completly faithful to my husband, and be solely for him, I want him to know that I am solely for him, and that I am not for other men to look at as an object.
I commend you, Chris for loving your wife so much, and I say I really cant blame you, because when someones breasts are popping out of their shirt in my peripheral vision or in my face.or I see bare legs and thighs of other women, I feel embarrassed as if I am seeing something private, but even I, as a completly straight woman, find my self glancing at those parts, then feeling embarrased…..so dont feel guilty for that, the next time you catch yourself looking, lower your gaze..its better to look down sometimes then to have your eyes fall over nearly naked people, it isnt good for the soul. just makes it more carnal and animalistic, and for women, it just makes them more competitive amongst each other.
I am a muslim woman, and I dont care anymore about what people have to say about my religion, I respect myself and others, thats why I choose to cover myself. Because the world needs it. Our actions dont just affect us, they affect our society and the world.
If you have daughters, have them understand what you said above.. I wish I knew this from an early age,about men, woman, the laws of attraction, the brainwashing being done to us, rather than having to learn it later.
I see now the woman that is beautiful is not the one whose nose is held high and acts conceited, and has beautified herself with makeup and eyecatching clothing,
the ones who glow with beauty are the ones who are covered, and lower their gaze.
I love them for their small, but meaningful contribution to the world and I respect them for respecting others
peace and blessings.
February 28, 2012 5:03 am
With all my respect to you! Its glad to know that people who think in the lines of your article ‘do exist’! Bless you.
March 27, 2012 9:09 am
there is a guy who stares and my butt and boobs all time..i thought he didn’t have girlfriend..found out he did..so whats he doing thinking of me in the sack while he’s with his girlfriend?
its exciting for a bit..then when you find out he’s got someone its like you
really are stupid aren’ t you..
when they do that you also have to be careful..because they may have dont he nasty the night before and just feeling confident…be careful with those stares..it doesn’t always mean “i’m attracted to you”
April 29, 2012 1:19 pm
I agree with all of the above aprt from one fact…………
every human being has choices, and if you choose to make the person your with feel so low by gawping at other females you are choosing your destiny, there are many times your apart this can go on without a woman having to be subjected to it.
the times have gone when we stood back and took this type of behavior because you were the provider…
Now you are never the provider, I as a woman with a better mind/job have always earned more than my partners, invested it in our homes and us, but refuse to juggle thier adolescent ways in front of my very eyes,
I do not blame the women dressing that way, or like you said I would have to blame myself for dressing prevotically ( which I do more for my partner to get a kick of being seen out with me than anything else, single Im a jeans and T shirt girl)
Its quite simple guys- leave your oggling to nights out with your mates if you love the woman you have been damn lucky to land- she doesn’t need that thrown in her face, it disrespects her you when you do it and makes her quite honestly dislike you intensley, sure she knows you do it, but also knows there is a mental fantasy line hopefully you wont cross and cheat the rest is down to you, but she doesnt need it thrown in her face while you ponder.
May 15, 2012 2:31 pm
yep its fun for awhile until you find out he’s got a wife and 5 kids..then its a turn off…
March 27, 2012 9:10 am
when they do that you also have to be careful..because they may have done the nasty the night before and just feeling confident…be careful with those stares..it doesn’t always mean “i’m attracted to youâ€
May 15, 2012 2:33 pm
i agree they may have had bimbo night..and they think they can rule the world for an hour or so? … don’t misunderstand ladies…
March 27, 2012 9:16 am
i agree with the above..you may be feeling he’s attracted to you but in reality he’s saying i just want to look at your butt.
unless he starts talking to you and want to be around you, if you start talking and he doesn’t respond well it usually means he’s got someone or just wants to start at your butt and that’s it.
make sure you understand that butt & boob stare.
March 27, 2012 10:20 am
i agree..be careful of these men…alot are married, your looking for a boyfriend..he’s going home to play with his wife and kids and your wondering what’s wrong with yourself..
if he doesn’t speak or begin to give you the right verbal signals –then drop this chump..the BUM is in disney world with his family and your emotions are hurt trying to figure out why he’s staring at your butt all the time but won’t talk to you..or won’t respond when you say hi to him
its a mistake alot of women make. i’m married but i watch out for my single girlfriends because these guys KEEP THE NICE GIRLS WAITING ALL THE THE TIME. I’M SIGNING OFF NOW…YOU MEN ARE DISGUSTING. THANK GOD I MARRIED A GREAT GUY
May 15, 2012 2:51 pm
yep the butt stare loses excitement as soon as you hear about his problems that are 10 miles long yet can still hold a nasty attitude even
with all his drama wife, divorce, 6 kids, payments.
does a serious career driven single woman want this after a days work i dont’ think so…get somebody who thinks of only your butt, not the x wife, divorce, 6 kids, payment butts….LOLOL
May 15, 2012 2:29 pm
i agree with Don’t Misunderstand..i am also married(thank goodness) to a great guy for 6 years…i also have a couple of girlfriends who struggle with these bums…..I just tell them — if he’s not talking…then say goodbye..in my day if i saw a man staring at my butt and he was not moving his butt to ask me out that was it-i didn’t even acknowledge the person anymore because its all a wasted time. he’s shy he’s this and he’s that..all bologna.
if he wants you then he’ll open his mouth..otherwise do not say word to this so- called MAN.
years ago when men looked at you and your butt it mean’t he wanted you today it means nothing…so wake up and be with someone who wants you.
July 20, 2012 11:09 pm
I am sorry but you people are insane! I am a woman and I look at people. I have also noticed that other people, men and women look at me. Yes some of the men stare but so what. I have no intentions of going home with him and guess what, he has no intentions of going home with me. Humans use staring as a form of gauging people. It isn’t all sexual and if it is so what. Just because you have found a person to love that doesn’t mean that you own every part of that person. Their inner most thoughts are their own so stop trying to control your partner by telling them what they can and can’t think about. It is bloody scary to know that such closed minded insecure people like you still exisit.
October 22, 2012 1:21 am
In response to Jane.
I know a lot of guys stare at women trying to engage them in some mental sexual place. I know there are guys who do this because they know they will not get any further with that person so they instead steal from them a virtual trespassing despite the fact that it is rude, and may cause discomfort for the one being stared at. They do this fully aware that the woman sees them and knows they are looking.
I want to make myself clear that I am not defending this sort of action nor have I EVER done it or hang out with those who do.
I am merely explaining that this culture in America allows women to dress provocatively or modestly. When men harass women who dress modestly, that’s simply because they are jerks. Not all guys do this and I certainly don’t
However, when a women chooses to dress provocatively, I in fact notice.
I find because I am heterosexual that if the woman is attractively displayed, I enjoy the visual image. I am not suggesting I have an episode of heavy breathing and start sweating while touching myself inappropriately.
I prefer if women would dress more modestly and not wear glamour make up because I find when they do there is less distraction, or impulse to appraise the provocative presentation. I am only speaking on behalf of men who do not shout at girls, and simple find themselves tempted to look at women who bait themselves to the legal limits in which they are allowed.
I promise you I would not even notice you or any woman passing by unless they are presenting themselves in public. My wife has an excellent body. I don’t like when she dresses provocative but when she does I don’t discourage her because she is free to do as she pleases in that regard.
She disagreed with me at one time before about defending my position on guys looking at women. Until one day she wore tight cloth leggings and a guy in a mall took a snap shot with his cell phone camera of her butt. She felt bad because she felt that the man stole something from her but she realized that while you are in PUBLIC, you have no right to privacy and legally anyone can take your picture. From that time on she realized that had she not worn something that showed her butt, that the man who took her picture would not have had been available to possess anything that was private of her in the first place.
So my point being is this. Keep what’s private in private and what is appropriate for public in public. That way you will not feel so offended by those looking at the areas partially revealed. That’s just common sense. I can’t wear a thong outside and feel bad when people look at me. Do I expect them to respect my privacy when I am the one entering communal public domain? If you show your butt guys are going to look and appraise it. Wear clothes that cover everything and no one will turn a head except for the jerks that will do that regardless of what you do.
To those guys who are able to accommodate women who want to walk around naked by pretending they are not, more power to you, wish I was one of you and I pray every day someday I may be, but until then wear clothes in public people.
October 28, 2012 5:48 am
In response to Jane
I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that cannot override our programming. But I will say that it is like playing dodge ball every day, each day.
That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this.
I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel.
Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint?
If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up
. Women, are just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects?
You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look.
So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response.
To all the women out there, Dress like a guy, and you will be treated equal like a guy. Dress like a guy (it works for Hilary Clinton) and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in their natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say they are beautiful or pretty or whatever, but not (ATTRACT-TIVE). Meaning they will not attract or solicit attention. But If you dress like you’re in the bed room you get what you give.
I know that a lot of guys stare at women trying to engage them in some mental sexual place. I know there are guys who do this because they know they will not get any further with that person so they instead steal from them a metal rape, despite the fact that it is rude, and may cause discomfort for the one being stared at. They do this fully aware that the woman sees them and knows they are looking.
I want to make myself clear that I am not defending this sort of action nor have I EVER done it or hung out with those who do.
I am merely explaining that this culture in America allows women to dress provocatively or modestly. When men harass women who dress modestly, that’s simply because they are jerks. Not all guys do this and I certainly don’t
However, when a woman chooses to dress provocatively, I in fact notice them in passing. I find because I am heterosexual male, that if the woman is attractively displayed, I enjoy the visual image. I am not saying that I have a sweaty episode of heavy breathing while touching myself inappropriately. Just saying a variety of beauty is pleasant to appraise and admire.
I prefer if women would dress more modestly and not wear glamour make up because I find when they do there is less distraction, or impulse to appraise the provocative presentation. I am only speaking on behalf of men who do not shout at girls, and simply find themselves tempted to look at women who bait themselves to the legal limits in which they are allowed.
I promise you I would not even notice you or any woman passing by unless they are presenting themselves in public. My wife has an excellent body. I don’t like when she dresses provocative but when she does I don’t discourage her because she is free to do as she pleases in that regard.
She used to disagree with me about defending my position on guys looking at women. Until one day she wore tight cloth leggings and a guy in a mall took a snap shot with his cell phone camera of her butt. She felt bad because she felt like the man stole something from her but she realized that while you are in PUBLIC, you have no right to privacy and legally anyone can take your picture.
From that time on she realized that had she not worn something that showed her butt, that the man who took her picture would not have had been available to possess anything that was private of her in the first place.
So my point being is this. Keep what’s private in private and what is appropriate for public in public. That way you will not feel so offended by those looking at the areas partially revealed. That’s just common sense.
I can’t wear a thong outside and feel bad when people look at me. Do I expect them to respect my privacy when I am the one entering communal public domain?
If you show your butt guys are going to look and appraise it. Wear clothes that cover everything and no one will turn a head except for the jerks that will do that regardless of what you do.
To those guys who are able to accommodate women who want to walk around naked by pretending they are not, more power to you, wish I was one of you and I pray every day someday I may be, but until then wear clothes in public people.
February 12, 2013 2:47 pm
Chris,
For all your writing and the brilliance from which you speak…few women will ever make it through till the end. Nevertheless, I commend you, brother….well spoken indeed!
“A fellow pig”
David
April 20, 2013 12:44 pm
Chris,
Beautifully written. I will print this out and read it whenever I feel disappointed after my sweetheart looks at other women in front of me. I am heartbroken as to why we are built this way but my goal is to learn and grow. I pray that we can overcome this sad and uncomfortable stage in our relationship.
Sincerely,
Jasmine
May 31, 2013 12:31 pm
in response to chris:
1) i am impressed the way you have explained everything . generally man do not open up very easily .
2) i pitty those men who can only stare and can’t do anything more . LOL .. sometimes i wonder does their testerone level decreases only by STARING! 😀
3) why do men then rape even girls who are wholly covered with clothes from top to toe ? girls showing off their bodies might get some guys attracted but what about those who are covered? !!!